Monthly Archives: March 2013

An A- Z for your life – Hope

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 Hope

Hope helps us to believe in possibilities. It tells us that good things can and do happen and it is up to us to pay attention.  Certainly this is a better way to approach life than feeling hopeless.

If we have hope we are more likely to put in effort and make plans for ourselves, because we expect to make things happen.  Of course hope does not mean things will happen the way we want them to but it puts us in a good frame of mind and encourages us to try; this is the first step to something occurring. ‘We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.’ Anais Nin.  Without hope we would not try.

Like everything else it is about balance.  If something has proved unlikely to happen with our effort then there will be a time to accept this and move on.  Hope is a starting point but it would be foolish to hold on to it when reality points the other way.  We can redirect that effort elsewhere without feeling wronged or punished.  Life has something better planned for us and we need to reach out and accept it.

Are you someone who is scared of hoping for anything because you fear being disappointed? Do you hope more for things you want to create or things you would like to be given?

An A-Z for your life – Honesty

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Honesty

Honesty has proven time and time again to be the best policy. Dishonesty is always revealed leaving catastrophic shame and isolation in its path.

Dishonesty would have a much more challenging impact on those we came into contact with as they would not be able to trust us.  As well as this public side there is the internal turmoil of having to pretend to be someone that we are not – this takes a toll on our sense of who we are and on our happiness.  Nothing is worth that damage to who we are.

Since this was first written we have had revelations from  two well known sportsmen about their real lives and their fans have been rocked by this.

Are you forever telling little lies to spare the feelings of others?   Would you like the people in your life to be honest with you or do you only want to hear the good news?

 

 


 

 

An A-Z for your life – Home

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HomeThis brings me to the idea of home:  A place where you care about others and they care about you.  For me that is a more important concept than to say it is the place where you live.  For many it is a simple concept; you grow up in your parents’ home and then you go out and create your own.  A home needs to be more than a house because that is only a limited external combination of location, possessions and function.  It could be about the community or country you feel a sense of belonging to.  Home could be a community of likeminded people where tolerance and cultural exchange are encouraged.  A home needs to offer some heart connection so that those who live there can be fully alive and feel supported.  For me it is more of a sanctuary than a straightforward shelter.  It is a place where I can unwind and I can offer hospitality to others.

Nowadays England is more accepting of different communities who maintain the culture of their home country whilst creating a new home in England; having two homes.  I think of friends who have left England for South Africa, Australia and New Zealand in search of what they believe will be a new and better home for them.  I think of Caribbean friends moving to America, England and Canada for the same reasons.  I myself was born in England and grew up in the Caribbean.  Where is home for me?  Do I need to choose?  In my experience, time spent, key relationships, commitments and sense of belonging all have a part to play.  Both England and the Caribbean have changed in the time I have been finding and creating my adult home.

There are many people without a sense of home even if they have lived in a land for several generations.  They need to find a place that they can call home.  Part of this I am sure is an ability to be at home with oneself.  We would never find home if it is all about an expectation of the world continually welcoming us to some special place.  We need to figure what we need and create that space in the world.

I know for me home is linked to a broader sense of identity and relationships.  This may change over time as I continue to grow deeper into who I am and how I live my life.  Listening to our specific desire for a place of refuge is part of our life’s journey and one we should take seriously – no one can create a home for us.  Similarly we do not need to recreate the home we grew up in although we could consciously choose to include aspects of that which we found supportive and, by the same token, leave out that which we did not.

Have you found or created a home for yourself?  Would you like to or does it seem unimportant?

 

 

Love Sax and all that Jazz, chapter 2

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Love, Sax and all that Jazz, Chapter 2, De Mans Dem

Love, Sax and all that Jazz poster

Love, Sax and all that Jazz poster

Having interviewed the writer, director and local producer behind Love Sax and all that Jazz chapter 2 I was really looking forward to the performance.  I expected it to be very funny and have Christian values but it was much more than that.

Alan Charles created a great cast of characters who were similar enough to be believable as friends and yet different enough to have their own distinct traits and foibles.  The story is centred on Alfred and located in his bar.  He shares his difficulty in choosing between his first-love Louise and his current love and business partner, Kylie.  He shows his confusion as he tries his best to respond to both women and how they feel about him.  This love triangle keeps the audience guessing until the end.

There is much humour amongst the men and women who visit the bar and share their trials and tribulations in love.  Each scene is relevant, informative, and funny and helps you to get to know and care about the characters.  Lisa and Brian have been married for four years and Brian is complaining to all his friends that he is not happy with the amount of intimacy they have.  This gives an opportunity to explore some gender biases from both men and women.  When they finally take some action and meet the online marriage guidance couple – the effervescent Betty and Leroy – the audience is entertained and informed. Not everything is as it first appears.  We all know that relationships are built on communication and this is demonstrated when the couple speak and realise that they have no idea how the other one was feels and how they can work towards meeting the needs in their relationship.

As well as the married, unmarried, waiting to be married and divorced characters there is also Phil, the player of the piece. The only parts of the Bible Phil seems to know are Old Testament stories when people had many wives!  Despite his lifestyle choices the character is likeable and very entertaining. The female equivalent for Phil is the feisty Jennifer who is introduced as having an affair with a married man.

Having not seen other work by Alan Charles I really want to congratulate him for a great script.  Each scene felt natural and relevant to developing the story and characters yet the scenes stand-alone too.  You are kept emotionally engaged and there were a few times when the audience went “aaw” and “noo” in unison as we were carried along.  With a love poem for the ladies there is something for every one.  There is a pivotal bit of performance poetry, which came at exactly the right time and worked really well.  There is a very funny bit near the start when the men have a good laugh at how often women have “headaches”.  Other metaphors, such as the grass being greener elsewhere, are used to good effect.

If you get a chance to see this comedy play then go for it.  It will entertain you whilst keeping your head and heart engaged. The show was put on in a local church and it was lovely to see the pastor and many from the congregation belly laughing throughout.  It has something to say to everyone and we’re all in relationships with others, whatever our status.

The next performance of Love, Sax and all that Jazz chapter 2 is on Sunday 28th April at Broadway Theatre, London.

I believe there are plans to bring Love, Sax and all that Jazz, chapter 1 to Reading and I shall be booking that when it comes around.  Whilst chapter 2 is from Da Mans Dem, chapter 1 is from the ladies’ viewpoint.

 

An A-Z for your life – Health

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healthHealth is something we all desire, and maybe something we do not spend enough time thinking about until we have suffered ill health.  I feel everyone should be informed and encouraged to look after their health from a young age.  There is a lot being done across the world but many people continue to ignore their health and pretend they do not know what to do.

I despair at the exporting of unhealthy foods from the developed world to the developing.  I am sad when I visit the Caribbean and see people replacing healthy local produce for mass-produced low-grade food imports.  This is particularly true of sweets where the homemade coconut fudge or nutmeg jam is thrown aside for a coloured chemical combination that contains no identifiable foods.

Like our health, we do not always value what we have until it disappears.  Because of the global economic climate many of us have rediscovered the joys of locally produced and home-cooked meals.  This is not only cheaper but often healthier as well.

Health is not only about the state of our bodies but also about our mental health, which covers our mind and emotions.  Our emotions show us how we are responding to things in our life. With good mental health we can make space for the range of our emotions, from despair to joy. No emotion is bad, it’s how we express it, or not, that is meaningful.

Be aware of what you pay attention to and what you ignore.  Some of us can be quite obsessive about one aspect of our health, such as our diet, whilst another area is completely ignored.  Take time to review how you take care of the health of your whole self.  It does not matter where you start but the message is to get started.  This is not about self-absorption but supports you to live a full and vibrant life. It is also generous as it  means you are more likely to be around for the loved ones in your life.

How are you looking after your physical, mental and emotional health?