Archives For personal development

Are you free to focus?

June 22, 2019

For a while I’ve been able to work on one thing whilst having several other things floating around my head. We’ve all tried multi-tasking but perhaps I’ve stretched that to my limit.  It no longer works for me.

There are too many incomplete tasks and they are beginning to distract me so that my focus is never fully on the thing I’m doing. There is a real risk of doing several things to a lower standard rather than giving focused attention to each.

I tend to have several different lists for different parts of my life and then I often fall back on memory to help steer me forward. I recognise that I need to make changes for things to be different. I know from my counselling that if we don’t adapt when change is required then we risk making things worse or becoming unwell.

This is why I sought out ‘Free to Focus’ by Michael Hyatt. I know I will always have varied interests that stimulate me and projects at different levels of completion. How do I set limits around quantity and quality of my work? How do I incorporate my wellbeing, client work, creative output and routine tasks in the best way possible?

How to be free to focus

Free to Focus by Michael Hyatt

In his book ‘Free to Focus’ Hyatt brings together several well tested ideas. Some ideas, like making good use of sleep and creativity, I already use. There are other things however that I’ve not made decisions on which I now need to address. I can’t and shouldn’t say “yes” to everything that comes my way.  Even if I am very efficient I will not be able to fit in everything, so I need to be able to say “no” to some things.

By not cutting out some things we end up with a list of things that we can never get to. But by being more realistic and making conscious choices about what goes onto our plates then things become achievable. That way things that matter, around values and goals, do not drop to the bottom, overtaken by easy tasks and distractions. The starting point, and a challenge for me, is cutting out some of the easy activities which do not align with stated goals.

But before we can cut out any extras we need to stop, decide what we want and evaluate our course.

As he suggests, big shifts can come from knowing when to automate, designate and delegate. I know that my answer lies in deciding to designate 3-5 hours at a time to big tasks (e.g. Writing or CPD) that require extended periods of focused work. Remembering to switch off notifications (constant disruptions) is another answer.

Routine is also essential, even for those of us who are self-employed creatives and often push against it. He suggests having a ritual for the start and end of each work day which then saves on the need for constant decision making and can be supported through better use of technology.

This book has inspired me to do things differently so that I can reduce overwhelm and maintain wellbeing. What about you, are you overwhelmed by it all or do you have an effective approach that leaves you fulfilled?  Please share and comment.

Shirley Anstis

@shirleyanstis

www.livingbeingdoing.com

 

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Writing Your Story – 17th October, 2018, 7pm #rdguk

October 1, 2018

Many people would like to write a book, but few put in the effort to achieve this.  

Would you like to write your book?

Do you have a story to tell? Have you had interesting experiences in your life that others might enjoy reading about?

Have you witnessed things you’d like others to celebrate or avoid?

Do you have a message that you would like to put into the world? 

Writing Your Story

Come and meet local authors who have taken the plunge and written several books. You might be motivated to record your life story and gift it to family and friends or

publish your learnings for sale to the wider community. This could also be a way to demonstrate your expertise. You may want to share your passion for a particular place

or experience. The possibilities are endless, you decide your theme and focus.

Come and join several authors who will talk about their experience of writing their books. Our speakers include authors Una Chandler, Cecily Mwaniki, Keith Seville and

Shirley Anstis. You will also explore the steps you need to take to get your book completed. Join others on a similar journey and be encouraged in the process.

We begin where you are and help you plan the route ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

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How to write, self-publish and sell your book in 2015

May 3, 2015

If you would like to write a book then this is a great afternoon workshop for you.

Many people would like to write a book but few create the space to make it happen.

Do you have a story to share? Have you had interesting experiences in your life so far? Is there a family story you would like to record? Do you have a message that you would like to put into the world?

During our interactive session we will explore the steps you need to take to get your book into the hands of admiring readers.

Join others on a similar journey and be encouraged in the process.

We begin where you are and help you plan the route ahead.

Book here for June workshop.

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An A-Z for your life – Kindness

April 15, 2013

Kindness is a good quality to practice on our journey through life.  The Bible talks about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.  But there is also something to be said for being kind whilst not expecting anything.   Kindness is simply about saying yes to a request that we can accommodate or offering to do something that we know will help another person.  It could be as simple as picking up someone’s shopping, watering their plants, giving them a lift, phoning to check that they are ok.  It is about allowing someone else’s situation to cross our mind and allowing ourselves to offer to ease their burden without feeling superior or heroic.  It is sharing the gifts and resources that we have.

waterfall

We may also find ourselves on the receiving end of such generosity.  John Donne wrote that ‘no man is an island’ and it helps us to remember that our lives are all connected.   Unfortunately it often takes a tragedy to remind us of this.  Sometimes giving of our time and energy has more of an impact than writing a cheque.   I am reminded here of a television program called The Secret Millionaire, where wealthy people go undercover to discover real needs and later, financially support these.  I know they can get publicity from the show but as they already have a high profile in their field I do not think that is their motivation.  It seems to me that they want to help and to feel the joy of giving.  There are of course many who give of their time quietly through caring and volunteering.

Kindness is not about wealth.  We are all capable of giving of ourselves, whoever we are, wherever we live.  Is kindness something you experience of yourself or from those around you? Would you like to be kinder to yourself and others?

 

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An A-Z for your life – Attitude

January 6, 2013

So what is your attitude towards art and to your life as a whole?  It is the simple things that can sometimes make a big difference in how we approach life. I really think if we shared our insights and learning more it could have a wonderfully contagious and healing effect.  It is a much better gift to share than negativity, irritation, superficiality, self-importance and other non-uplifting attitudes.

Our attitude is a key aspect of what we put into life.  That attitude also affects what we get out of it.  It impacts on our relationships with others, how they experience us and how we perceive them.  Are we open and positive or closed off and negative?  If you believe that like attracts like then positivity from us brings that out in others.  Similarly, negativity attaches to negativity.  Individually we are part of this multiplying effect that spreads through society.  Some people pay attention to an approach called the law of attraction which suggests that you can attract into your life that which you seek by being focused on it.  It suggests that we have an impact on our world – it matters how we are.

Attitude

‘If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change your attitude.’ – Maya Angelou.

Are you aware of the attitudes you carry around with you?  How would the people in your life describe your attitudes?  Is this what you feel is true for you or does it feel like circumstances cause you to respond in certain ways?

Has your attitude made life difficult for you?  How would it be to talk to the people in your life who you trust and get them to give you some feedback on this?

Is there anything else you’d like to consider as a result of reading this?

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An A-Z for your life – Art

December 30, 2012

artHave you ever wondered about what you know and what you do not know in life?  Sometimes I stumble upon insights and it surprises me that I did not know that thing before.  Art is all around us even though we do not always see it.  Classically it is about paintings and drawings that have been done by great artists.  It can also be about sculpture and other images.  For some it is about a literal interpretation of a real thing or event whilst for others it can be about creating a mood or a feeling.  Some people get very excited about what counts as art and what does not.

For me it is an opportunity to appreciate the image and the emotions it connects to.  I love a good painting or sculpture although I can’t really do either myself.  I do however enjoy taking photographs and have been very pleased to include my photos in this book.  Images can stir us on a very deep level and help us to appreciate the complexity of our existence.  I love to pop in to art galleries and museums in my lunch hour as it sometimes puts the day’s work into perspective and reminds me there is more to life than whatever I am working on.

What we call art seems to be changing and expanding all the time.  I went to see a very modern exhibition recently and found it very engaging.  I decided to enter into the fun of it and not stand aside critiquing it.  There were mounds of concrete and weird mirrors that contorted reality.  Other recent events have seen someone running in a gallery and people performing on a plinth as forms of living art.

As modern western life becomes more designed I think art is moving off the walls and into our homes and lives.  Art influences the designs of chairs, kitchens, cars and trainers.  It could be the way a dish is served in a restaurant or the beautiful movement of a world-class dancer.  We all consume art in our daily lives.  Art meets fashion on the high street.  I often see gorgeous shoes that are beautiful to look at but impossible to wear.  Art meets nature in sunrise and sunset.

Thankfully we do not need to create our own art to appreciate it.  How does the idea of art sound to you?  Is this something you have an appreciation for or does it seem unnecessary and foolish?  What do you consider art?  Are you able to appreciate any art in your life?

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I am smiling on the inside

April 12, 2012

 

I stood with one hand under my chin, arms folded and looking at my feet.  If you saw

me at a distance you’d think I was feeling miserable.  The truth is I was enjoying the

sunshine and engrossed with the ladybird trying to climb up my shoes.  A grounded

moment in a busy day.

 

What we are thinking and feeling is not always obvious to those around us.  If our aim

is to deceive then that’s great but if we wish to deepen relationships and develop trust

then opening up is necessary.   We could be smiling or crying on the inside, who

knows?

 

What we see from the outside is

always a partial picture of the

truth, and even we may not fully

understand ourselves.

 

 

 

For myself I find it is very powerful to be really seen, even if feedback is sometimes

difficult to receive.  It is very exposing and moving to have someone give honest

feedback on how they experience us.   With my clients I offer my reflections gently.

 

If we are experienced differently from what we believe to be the truth then it is up to us

to explore this. How are we living or being that gives them that impression?  Is there a

conspiracy or is there some truth in how others experience you?

I would love to have your responses.

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